Hanoi to Ha Long Bay

Throughout Vietnam the scooter is king, it has become the 21st century mule, As well as entire families I have seen them weighed down with stacks of doors, metal poles, live chicken swinging by their ankles and a goat casually riding between the driver and handlebars. The low hum and horns resonate throughout the city 24 hours a day and when you encounter a road the best you can do is hold your breathe, hope for the best and cautiously edge your way to safety. Our first few hours in the city we witnessed police get out of an open top van and literally grab a woman selling fruit, her basket was tossed to the floor and she was sat in the van between two officers, shaking and crying as they disappeared into a mass of motorbikes, it happened so quickly I didn't have time to process any of it, but I really didn't know what I could do, is this something that occurs often? the locals were completely unsympathetic to the woman's plight and dismissed it entirely, some laughing. During daylight we saw a prison the French used to imprison and execute the Vietnamese in the colonial era which was later used to house American POW including John McCain, I managed to talk my way to the top of a unfurnished skyscraper where I looked out over the cityscape from a windy penthouse windowframe. I posed as a convincing historian in a temple and we unleashed some moves in an all female aerobics class in the botanic gardens. We also payed a quick visit to Ho Chi Minh; the Marxist revolutionary that shaped Vietnam into the independent socialist republic it is today, preserved in a glass coffin, a la Lenin, he rests in a grand Mausoleum between the millennium park and citadel. Throughout we have been travelling about with two lads we met on the sleeper bus; Aaron and Alex, I knew I would get on well with them the minute I heard them snigger at the name of the currency out here; Dong. Every evening we had a lot of fun experienced Hanoi's nightlife the venues ranged from a shady back alley club where we got chased home by prostitutes to marketbar where the top floor barman ignored the 12:00 curfew and extended happy hour till early morning letting me DJ for the night. In fact as I write this, everyone else is off at the bar having a wonderful night, I'm here with a coke and the receptionist asleep in the lobby behind me, my camera plugged into the computer occasionally giving me a mild electric shock. The food here isn't like anywhere else in Asia, decent food stools are scarce and the few around are aimed at locals. There is a massive divide between local and tourist food spots, a couple of times when I was on my own and wanted to try something 'authentic' I was actually turned away from the food place. You can't always trust what is in your food either as the vendor will outright lie to you, with roasted dog hanging from some restaurants and reports of 'pork' being remarkably chewy and occasionally containing fur, I am glad to be a pescetarian. Most of our time in Hanoi the weather was either overcast or raining, It was strange to see lots of the locals in big jackets and woolly hats, I kept having to reminding myself 'for them its winter' but the temperature feels roughly comparable to a 'typical' British summer day, naturally we all rocked out the shorts and flipflops whilst the Vietnamese shiver.

We travelled down to Ha Long Bay (Descending Dragon Bay) and set sail round the limestone islands, the first day was very cold and cloudy. In fact out of all the people on the boat, Andy and I where the only two that braved the water to canoe. After drifting around for a bit we discovered a tranquil cove in the centre of an island, the water was so still and calm. As part of the tour we all visited some psychedelically coloured caves where the locals had set up a kaleidoscope of lights, all very touristy. On the way out we stopped at a shop to buy a crate of beer, we all felt very clever bypassing the boats own extortionate beer prices, but once on board the crew spotted the box (hidden half arsed under a lifejacket) and we were swiftly shown a laminate card saying "$1 corkage fee per beer" this was both confusing and unreasonable nevertheless the captain commandeered our crate and kept it below his disco ball. As night set in we caved to the boat bar pricing and played new drinking games with two Australian girls and an Irish couple. The older end of the table talking amongst themselves but drinking even more heavily especially the crazy old Mexican in the corner who would now and then jump of his seat spit out some broken English in our direction and collapse back down again. Needless to say it was a pretty good night.

The morning welcomed us with brilliant blue skies and after breakfast we docked once more to go trekking, I didn't realise this until I saw the mountainside and only brought flipflops so decided to tackle it without them, It got a lot of interesting looks and laughs from the locals who called me monkeyfeet but I managed it fairly easily. At the peak of the mountain was a very old and very rusty and very tall lookout tower, This thing looked like it could fall down at any second, the stairs you climb (some missing in places) were suspended on the outside of the structure meaning as you checked your footing all that was beneath the mangled stairs was air. At the top was a platform but all that stopped you plummeting below was some wooden planks laid over the frame and there was a man sized gap you had to step over after the top step. Seriously this thing was ridiculous, usually I have absolutely no problem with heights but if you didn't suffer from vertigo climbing this thing I think there is something deeply wrong with you. The view from the platform was impressive but to be honest I only spent a couple of minutes up there before making my descent, I needed to sink my feet back into the earth as soon as possible. After the trek the four of us chilled out in the sun by the bay, trying to spot faces in the limestone rocks and discussing the meaning of life. The final evening back out to sea we cunningly hid our re-released beers in our day bags and drank them below deck, in the cabin where drunken antics soon ensued.